In this case, censorship would be a good idea
Guess he’s just a big fan of instant replay.
A 60-year-old man in Duisburg, Germany, already charged with running naked onto the field during a girls soccer game and performing some bodybuilder poses, pulled the same stunt again - in the courtroom. “The court withdrew for deliberations, and during the adjournment the man removed his clothes again,” a court spokesman told Reuters. “It appears he sees it as art, and views himself as a living work of art.”
Lemon twist
Not only did four grandsons of Globetrotters legend Meadowlark Lemon - Chet, Chase, Bubba and Mychal Lemon - play for the Linfield College football team this season, but the players’ father, George, is a Bearcats assistant coach.
“When life gives you that many Lemons,” reasoned Richard Oliver of the San Antonio Express-News, “make one a Lemon aide.”
Fast-break opportunity
“I hear this is a great time to go to Vegas,” wrote Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. “The casinos are deserted because the NBA refs have gone back to work.”
Hands to yourself
An elementary school in Attleboro, Mass., has joined a national trend by banning touch football, tag and other “chase” games during recess because of injury and liability fears, the hometown Sun Chronicle reported.
Kids are instead urged to emulate such noncontact sports as rock/paper/scissors, ring toss and covering Patriots receivers.
Smaller fish to fry
Yes, Don Shula, there should be an asterisk attached if the Patriots go 16-0 this season - providing two of those wins came against some 0-16 Dolphins.
Numb and number
“Kansas’ 76 points against Nebraska,” noted Wendell Barnhouse of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, “were more than the Jayhawks scored in 10 games against the Huskers in the decades of 1970 (60 total points) and 1980 (67).”
Talko time
• Thomas Bonk of the Los Angeles Times, on the suite upgrades - state-of-the-art refrigerators, cooking units and kitchen islands - at the Miami Heat’s America Airlines Arena: “If Shaquille O’Neal turns up missing, we’ve got a pretty good idea where to start looking for him.”
• Wyoming football coach Joe Glenn, to the Deseret News of Salt Lake City, after his “guarantee” of a win over Utah resulted in a 50-0 loss: “You go find a crow, and I’ll eat it.”
• “Hegarty,” a poster at FootballForums.net, with a suggested nickname for Arsenal’s reserve-team striker, Tom Cruise: “Top Gunner.”
Precious porcelain
Orange Bowl bathroom fixtures could be among the potential keepsakes headed for the auction block before Miami’s storied stadium gets demolished in March or April, The Miami Herald reported.
As an added bonus, urinals from the visitor’s locker room come with a Florida State kicker’s “wide right” certificate of authenticity.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com